Dad Was A Biafran Soldier During Civil War —Peter Okebukola’s Son

Oluseyi, a son of former Executive Secretary of the National Universities Commission, Prof. Peter Okebukola, in this interview with MOTUNRAYO JOEL, talks about his father Briefly introduce yourself. My name is Dr. Peter Oluseyi Okebukola. I am the first son of Prof. Peter Okebukola. Where did you have your primary, secondary and tertiary education? ADVERTISEMENT I have a long list. I studied at many schools. I attended Lagos State Model College Kankon, University of Lagos College of Medicine, University of Pretoria, University of Ghana, Harvard University and Johns Hopkins University. How was your childhood life? Most people have an idyllic view of their childhood, as I do. I remember visits to my paternal and maternal grandparents’ houses at the end of the year. As kids, we looked forward to those visits with excitement. I also remember a lot of church services, Sunday school, and morning prayers that my mother forced us to attend, much to our displeasure at the time. I remember seeing my parents reading a lot- they are both academics- and trying to cultivate a pleasant ambience around our home. Did your father visit you often in school? My father is an extremely busy man, however, when it comes to his children, he is always ready to make sacrifices. Though, he wasn’t able to visit me frequently, I think he visited me once or twice a year. Did you follow him in his line of profession? I guess in a way I did. I have one leg in the academia, having completed a PhD and I taught a number of undergraduate and graduate courses and authored some academic papers as well. I would probably say yes to that question, What career paths did your siblings follow? We all took different paths. In my family we have someone who studied Law, Economics, Pharmacy, Engineering, Medicine, Business, and so on. Did your father impose any career choice on his children? Yes, in a rather benign way. I still remember, as kids, he would say things like, “you will be a doctor, you will be an accountant….” However, he did not really force us. In his unique way, he just lets you know what path he thinks you should take in life. The jury is still out on whether he fully succeeded in that endeavour. How is your father at home? The earliest memory I have of my dad is of a man always working on his computer. He only took breaks to eat. He would also play with the kids briefly and then head back to work on his computer. He travelled very often as well. Once, he travelled for as long as nine to 12 months at a stretch. But I must celebrate my mother; she did her best to fill in for him during those periods of absence. I really appreciate her efforts for that. What is that thing Nigerians don’t know about your father? My father prays and fasts a lot. This is something people wouldn’t guess he does. But he doesn’t joke with his prayer time. How would you describe your parents’ marriage? My parents’ marriage is one that I admire. Till date their marriage is graceful and God-blessed, I must say. They inspire me. I’m who I am today because of their constant love and care. They both played a great role in my life while growing up and I’m glad they did. How does he handle disagreements with your mother? They have their way of conflict resolution basing their actions on the dictates of the Bible especially as entreated in the Book of Colossians. My parents’ have a strong knowledge of what the Bible says concerning marriage and they abide with it. I must say, growing up, I saw my parents’ marriage as one to emulate. They had a good way of handling issues without letting us know. I think my siblings and I are blessed to have them as our parents. Did your father advise you on the type of woman to marry? When I was thinking of getting married, I asked him for advice and he gave it quite liberally. His advice was along the lines of “a woman that fears God, loves you and comes from a good family”. It was such type of advice. It was nothing specific. Who were the famous faces you saw at home while growing up? I saw so many of them. However, many of them were professors, company leaders, governors, among others. We also visited a few of them, but he mostly kept his professional life separate from his personal life. How sociable is your father? My father isn’t really sociable. He has only a couple of close friends and he is not much into socialising. He is of the Apostolic Faith Mission and he takes the application of the doctrines of the church and Biblical injunctions on unequal yoke with unbelievers as the guide of his social life. You said he was quite busy while growing, apart from your mother, who else did you see frequently at home? I had many cousins, uncles and aunts around. What is his favourite food? His staple food for many years were bread and eba. In recent times, however, he has “converted” to beans and plantains; which he believes are healthier and I’m happy for him. What is his favourite drink? He loves coffee. He used to drink between five to 10 cups every day. I think he is trying to reduce his coffee intake and seems to prefer drinking tea instead. How is his temperament? Generally, he is very even-keeled. However, when frustrated, he can be a bit irritable and snap at people. He does not like people who are slow or do not think or work at a fast pace like he does. Unfortunately, those people are not many. What do you like about your father? I like and admire so many things about him. The list is very long but the three most admirable traits about him are his unbelievable work ethics, his devotion to his family and his strong sense of loyalty. And what don’t you like about him? This is tricky (laughs). I would be more patient with people and listen to divergent points of view a bit better. I hope that was diplomatic enough (more laughter). How does he discipline his children? He has an interesting way of dealing with children which I have come to appreciate significantly as I have grown older. He is a very positive parent. I cannot recall many instances where he spoke harshly or negatively to us. He makes sure we understand that he expects the best from us and we strive to live up to that. When one is naughty, he sorts of ignores the person- without him saying much, one gets the message and immediately tries to amend. How do you feel when he does this? I must say the cold shoulder is more “painful” than being spanked or verbally accosted. I also feel that denying children affection can be really painful. But in his case, he explains why he is disappointed. Most importantly, however, he gives you a positive aspiration to live by. I do appreciate him for this. Do you apply the same treatment to your kids? No way! I have a different temperament and I am more expressive. I am unable to ignore and I need to speak when upset. In this way, we are very different. Did he ever spank any of his children? Not that I recall. As I mentioned, corporal punishment is not his style. How does he handle criticisms? This is something I am still trying to learn from him. In his professional life, he has had to endure some seasons of serious criticisms. I have never seen him frazzled. I wonder where that inner strength comes from. My hypothesis is that his overwhelming sense of right and wrong and propriety when he knows he has done his best, keeps him from taking these things too personally. This question has prompted me several times to have conversations with him about handling criticisms. I am reminded of the quote attributed to Roosevelt that says, “It is not the critic who counts…but the man in the arena”. What is his view on students’ protest? We have had many dinner table debates about this. As a former students’ leader, I believe that peaceful protests are essential to the democratic process. I think he sometimes considers them unnecessary and unproductive. Does he support strikes? This is a tough one (smiles). I don’t have anything to say about that. Where does he see himself in the next five years? My father is a leader and always wants to play a strong leadership and policy role, contributing to the development of Nigeria. While he has led many local and international organisations, I think one role that will give him joy would be the one that God in His good time assigns to him. Who are his role models? I know he admires many people but I do not think I can provide a list now. However, his strongest role model is his father- Overseer Daniel Okebukola of blessed memory. Overseer in what church? He was an overseer at The Apostolic Church. Why didn’t your father follow in the footsteps of his dad? I remember that he wanted to be a Catholic Priest but I think he decided against attending seminary and becoming celibate. Is he jovial at home? He has become funnier as he grows older- he likes to crack many jokes and may sometimes call you just to share a joke. He always tries to lighten up people’s mood. Once he is at home you can bet the house would be interesting. There is no boring moment with him. He also loves to give people nicknames. Almost all the nicknames in the extended family were coined by him. He has a way of coming up with nicknames. Which nickname did your dad give you? The nicknames have changed very often, depending on where I live- Reed Hall (my graduate residence in Baltimore), North Charles Street, but in recent times, he calls me Prof… a strange nickname given that he is the professor. What is the first thing he does when he wakes up and the last thing he does before going to bed? I know he prays in the mornings and before he sleeps. In between, he works and works and works, interspersed with his lectures at the Lagos State University and in and outside the country in public engagements. Does he read what people write about him in newspapers? I think so. Most people say they do not, but that would be untrue. Even if he did not initially see the article, someone would send it to him- so I guess he has to. But my father doesn’t let criticisms affect him negatively instead he looks at ways to brighten the side of things. What has been his lowest moment or most trying period that you know? His lowest moment I know of was when his mother died. His dad (my grandfather) died not too long after. That was the lowest period of his life. I had never seen him so sad. What are some of the things your father told you about the civil war? I can’t remember much, but the one thing I can recall is that he said he used to be a conscripted soldier during the Nigerian civil war. Did he fight in the war? Yes. He fought on the Biafran side. How was he conscripted? He was a secondary school pupil at St. Malachy’s College, Sapele and he was forcefully conscripted into the Biafran Army. At some point, he was captured as a prisoner of war and was almost executed by firing squad, but for some last minute intervention. He can tell the story better. How does your father like to dress? My father really likes to dress smartly. But there are times he can be a bit flashy- it has always been his manner. When he was in the high school and the university, he was known as “Edan Master”. No wonder women cannot stop ogling him- even at his age. His Christian standing keeps him in check and I’m proud of him for that. In the education sector, who does he look up to? I think he has earned his stripes in the education sector. I know he admires a couple of people including previous ministers and a small group of senior colleagues and friends such as Profs. ‘Folabi Olumide, and Enitan Bababunmi (both former Vice Chancellors of LASU), Profs. Oye Ibidapo-Obe and Nimi Briggs (former VCs of Lagos and Port Harcourt varsities respectively), among others. How did your family handle his stay at the National Universities Commission and the challenges he encountered? I know quite well that it was a tough period. However, his way of dealing with these things is to shield his family from the negative parts of the job. I think my mother can probably relate more to the challenges. For me, the strain was sometimes very obvious, but he would not talk about his challenges very often. He would tell us about all the successes though. What does he plan to do after retirement? I am not sure he thinks much about retirement. I think he will be one of those people who keep working until they are very old and cannot move! He is a workaholic and I do not see him being able to “retire.” Source:punch